


must forewarn you

by marsakat



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Friendship, Gen, Guns for Hands music video shoot, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 21:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17009169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsakat/pseuds/marsakat
Summary: "I can confidently say that the-the Guns for Hands video is probably Josh's least favorite." -Tyler Joseph





	must forewarn you

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: okay but mars the world needs a fic from the guns for hands video re: ty telling josh he's gonne be okay when he's freaking out because of the tape. i didn't know i needed it but i keep thinking about that one q&a and i just need it.

Anyone could tell in a few seconds that Josh would do anything for Tyler and for the band. Josh was just that kind of guy— put every ounce of himself into what he loved, lay down in the dirt and filth. So magnanimous that he had been warned throughout his life that people would only take advantage of his kindness. 

He trusted Tyler’s vision. Whenever he said ‘we’ve got to do this for the band’, Josh would do it without hesitation. The Guns for Hands video was one of those pivotal moments in their career; early days signed to the first label, and every move counted. If Tyler said they had to drive through the night to play an important show, Josh would reply offering to take the first shift. Josh believed wholeheartedly in their band, and just wanted to make it all easier on Tyler, who he knew felt immense pressure to communicate to the world what they were all about.

Tyler planned every detail, every step they made on screen—and for this video it was only the two of them the whole time. Josh only brought up his concerns about the tape briefly when Tyler told him the plan.

“We’ve _ got to c _ over our faces,” Tyler insisted, “That’s kind of our  _ thing _ , man.”

“I guess I’m just kinda worried about how it’s all going to come off,” was the extent of Josh’s voiced concerns, but when it came to the actual video shoot, it was so much worse than he expected. 

For all Tyler’s insistence that they were using paper-based tape and  _ not _ actual duct tape, which would have been even worse to remove, it was still suffocating. 

“At least you get to wear a hat. I’m going to be bald after we’re done,” Tyler pointed out

“Yeah, well at least your mouth is free to, you know… breathe.” Josh let only a tiny taste of bitterness creep into his voice. He recognized Tyler’s attempt to make it all better, though games of ‘who had it worse’ didn’t make the constriction on his face and neck any less. 

Josh tried to keep his focus on whatever came next, not letting his mind think about how endless this shoot was becoming. Fully enveloped, he couldn’t see, couldn’t talk, and only drew in air through his barely-free nostrils. He was completely helpless, dependent on people moving and pushing him to stand or sit where they needed him to. It was worse to not be able to see the camera, and once he was fully wrapped up, he could already feel the panic creeping in.

“My claustrophobia,” he wanted to explain and be rescued, but didn’t want to ruin this video; for the band,  _ for Tyler _ . 

He didn’t mean to flap his hands in distress as someone shifted him suddenly without warning. His chest heaved and he hoped no one else heard the noise he made. But hands were on his face, opening up a hole between the tape for him to see that it was Tyler, of course.

His voice was muffled, but Josh could make out what he was saying; “Dude you’re gonna be fine.”

It was a reminder what he had to do, why he was in that situation. It was easier to just keep drumming anyway. He knew where everything was when he was behind his drumkit. Josh could hear the playback, and he let his mind drain of worry and just focused on playing perfectly. He knew he was in hell right then, but this was all bigger than his discomfort, after all. 

Josh would’ve been fine if he was allowed to just sit and film his part, but doing take after take of plopping down on his drum stool pushed him over the edge.  He didn’t know he was going wrong; why they needed him to keep repeating. Josh didn’t want to stop before it was ready, but he was fast losing control. He shifted his weight as they told him to stand there, swaying with nerves slightly.

“Josh, go,” came the command when Josh was not fully ready, and yet he let himself drop down, unfortunately landing only partially on his drum stool.

He plunged into nothing, and even though it was a split second before he crashed to the ground, his stomach dropped out and absolute panic descended. Josh didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but his flailing arms hit someone.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’ve got you.”

“We’ll help you stand up. Calm down a moment, we’ll help you up.”

Josh was brought up into a sitting position, and he knew he was surrounded, which only scared him more.

“Josh, give us a thumbs up if you’re okay.” 

He gave a thumbs down and began to grab at the tape on his head. Josh had reached his limit. He couldn’t do this anymore—he needed to escape, to get out of the tape and leave this studio. His whole body felt like it was on fire, sweat making his shirt cling to him. Josh was ready to start yelling, and then fingers were gently touching his hands. He stopped moving, recognizing somehow that it was Tyler.

Josh let Tyler guide him away from his face, and outward to Tyler’s tape-wrapped head.

Grounding. Josh traced the lines in the tape, blindly discovering where he was in the geography of Tyler’s face.

Tyler was here and enduring the same thing. Suffering together; in freezing cold vans, on stages in front of no one, in the blazing sun on tiny stages at no-name festivals— they were together in this. 

Josh found Tyler’s mouth free, of course— he needed to be able to sing, after all.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Tyler said firmly and Josh was singularly focused on him. “Two more shots, then you’re done with the tape.”

Josh believed him; who else was there for him to trust when there were all these new people coming into their lives? Suits at the label, management and various hangers-on. Tyler had their best interest at heart and they spent so much time working on this together to even make it to that very music video shoot. Tyler was his guiding light, the strength to push through the last few minutes in the tape, and the first person to help him rip off the layers. 

He gulped down fresh, sweet air as Tyler winced peeling the tape from his own hair. 

“Gonna look sick, dude,” Tyler smiled at him, glossing over Josh’s moment of weakness. “You did awesome.”

“ _ We _ did awesome,” Josh replied, the shaking in his limbs felt like he just gotten over a fever. 

It was always a team effort to make it through the hardest parts in their careers, needing to lean on the other. But those moments were fleeting, and this video was just another of those. A bad memory turning into a funny story as they went out for pizza afterwards and let it just become part of their history. There were better and brighter things waiting for them, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> The Q&A in question is this one: https://youtu.be/OhYm_zqaH6s?t=617
> 
> I've had one heck of a busy semester but school is done now and I'm gonna post until my thumbs fall off.
> 
> teeentyonepilots on tumblr, trenchtowel on twitter. hmu!


End file.
